Where there is a will, there is a way.
As a normal person, I also have something that I want to talk, to share with other people. Those may be just simple like opinions about the latest news, problems at work, or relationship. They might be nonsense but I don’t want to be made fun of. Everyone has their own problem and we should respect other people’s stories. If anybody does that to me once, I will stop sharing my private life with them. That’s reason why I can not express my thoughts completely to my friends most of the time.
Luckily, things changed. About half year ago, one of my long lost contacts somehow found out my mobile phone number. From that, we exchanged our Skype username and we keep talking, sharing everything we have in mind with each other until now. I feel that finally, I found someone I can trust to share, to express, to tell everything that are bugging me for a long time.
So, what make her so special?
First, it’s probably she shares a similar mind with me. We are both quiet on the outside, but we are flooded with thoughts inside our heads. And we want to share them. We have some troubles with other people because we live with a facade for so long that other people think that are our true selves. When we say or do something truly from our heart, they think that we are joking and not taking it seriously. Ironically. So, since we found out that we share same problems, we are more open to each other. That also help building up the trust among ourselves.
Second, she understands, instead of mocking, she sympathize. When I tell her about something I hate, she will ask me why, and if even I can not give a reason, she help me to point out some possible causes. When I have a fight, she will not side me or other, she stands at the middle, listen and give comments. I agree that as a man, I like to win and have comrades by my side. But I can not improve if no one tell me things that I’m not able to recognise by myself. With her, together, we dig to the root of problem, and look for a better solution.
Third, she has characteristics that I want to see in people. She’s intelligent, confident, independent, and also, sweet. Intelligence plays the key role here. I don’t want and don’t think any of you want to talk to people who know nothing. Yes, she knows her stuff, she has desire to learn new things, she’s pursuing the path of knowledge which I will fully agree and support if I can.
Does she have something that I dislike? Yes, she does. She’s a human being after all. Not many, but one I hate the most is that she’s bossy. I don’t like to be pushed around by people. Luckily, I can reject doing things that I don’t like by explaining to her. That makes it less ugly in my eyes.
There is no standard for a good conversation partner, it depends on each person’s preference. And in my opinion, she’s the one that I need.
Not everyone can willingly invite their friends to visit his house. Neither do I. They have their own reasons for not to do so and I have mine, too.
Deep down inside, I feel it pretty happy when someone visits me. There is a chance that was just a diplomatic action, or it was out of pity; but I don’t care about it much. In anyway, their visit means that my existence is acknowledged. That thought always make me feel better.
But the reality is harsh. Due to some circumstance, I do not allow myself to invite them or them to have any idea of paying me visit. The reasons lie in my family’s attitude during and after their visit.
During any occasion, they become bossy while my friends are around. They think that my treat is insufficient; they always try to influence my decisions or to interfere with what I’m going to do. I have my own way of doing things; I’m a strong self-awareness person. Thus, I don’t like any other persons get in my way. No matter how they are closed to me.
After the visit, they started complaining and questioning me why I hadn’t done this, that; and advising me to do this and that. I don’t need their advice, so, who cares about it? No one is perfect and nothing he does can be perfect. Everything will be fine as long as it meets the goals. And the goal for any visit is to have fun together, or to show concern. Nobody joins a party to find out your mistake in preparation anyway.
More, if they find out some imperfection, they will turn them into a topic for joke at anytime in the future. What are they trying to do? Do they understand that they are insulting me when they’re making those kinds of joke? I don’t think they do. As a man with his own pride, I can’t accept or forgive that embarrassment.
Last but not least, my father is alcoholic. When he’s drunk, he can’t control himself from rude conversation and violence. He would start taunting, spitting, throwing objects. I don’t think anyone as a son could stand that scene. Neither do I.
Because of those reasons, I will never ever invite anyone to visit my family again.
Well, this afternoon, when I was staying alone, I suddenly thought about you. I remembered that date, when I saw you for the very first time, you sat only two chairs from me. And date by date, you moved to the chair on my right. I like the way you talk, but I don’t like you said you don’t know when I asked you about the meaning of a new word because I know you are a smart one. I don’t want anyone pretend to be naive and less intelligent than me, especially she is a girl.
Our classmates paired you and me for fun, but personally I think they recognised something that they can’t speak out. Maybe because they saw you ran to me (I always sat at the specific chair and you change your position to next to me), and we usually had same actions.
When our teacher forced me to say those words, you may not notice, but my heart was beating rapidly, my cheek was warm, and I think my face turned into red that time. You thought it’s a joke, but for me, it’s very difficult to talk those words, because it was exactly what I felt inside.
I wanted to go out with you and our classmates, but I was shy, I was afraid I’m not your type. I’m afraid of facing the truth. Furthermore, until now, I’m still a poor student, without deep pocket, or motorbike, or fashionable outfit. I don’t think you can have any sentiment. I was little bit disappointed when you left without saying farewell, I was fine after all.
It was a one-side feeling, there was no hope to let you know it, but, that’s better for two of us.
Good bye, my friend. I hope the most happiness will come to you.
Thanks for reading.
Everyday, they always ask why they didn’t get good marks, solve an exercise, or remember new vocabulary while learning English.
The fact is: everytime they’ve got free time, they gather and play gamble, from hour to hour. You know what they play card for? Well, this match, they play for coffee, that time, for a breakfast, or even, to take money from other.
After enjoying the fruit of winning, they start another to find who must pay money. You see, how can they get better if they cannot control their passion?
I’m tired of hearing and seeing that. No one but they will pay for what they are doing these days.
One of my friend has just gone far away. It was on 12th February 2011. He slept without waking up in an ambulance from Daklak province to Ho Chi Minh city.
It was an accident – traffic accident and he was injured awfully.
Well, he was my friend. I know him at the age of 16. I and he used to go to school by the same bus. He was so friendly and humorous. He could make everyone laugh because of his jokes.
But when I went to university, we didn’t keep in touch, we rarely talked to each other because I and he were far away. I’m in HCMC, he’s in BMTC. Futhermore, I didn’t have his Yahoo nick or his mobile phone number. But I can still remember his funny face. I still want to laugh when looking at his face.
But now, he left behind everything – all sorrow and pains, all happiness and joy.
Good bye, my friend!