Kim Luong Vuong's blog

Where there is a will, there is a way.

I’m feeling down

Feeling down aloneAfter a long vacation, when the day of flying away from home is near, somehow, I feel that I don’t want to go away from them.

I usually think that I can go anywhere at anytime for any duration without problem. But it seems that it’s not always true especially when I spend a lot of time together with those closed to me.

They were just some conversation at the coffee shops, some small parties we threw together, a short trip to nearby beach. They are just normal stuffs but they really help to deepen our bond. At least, that what I feel.

I want those happy days last forever, I don’t want to leave them. But, what can I do? I need money to live, they need money to live as well. Even, if I can stay here, they won’t. They have their own job, their own life. They have to work. We can’t be with each other all the time.

Sometime, I wish that we could never grow up, that we could stay as innocent children forever. But, time flows fast, it doesn’t wait for anyone, and now, here we are, worry about life and regret about the past.

For now, we can spend a lot of time together because we don’t have to take care of anyone else. I don’t dare to imagine about the future where we are all settle down and have a family. Will we are able to things that we are doing now? Few years ago, when I enter university, I asked my aunt if she meets her friends often. The answer is obvious “No”. She said her and them were all absorbed to the flow of life. They have little spare time for each other. At that time, I didn’t understand it much. As I become older, I’m scared that it might actually happen to me sooner or later.

Well, thing’s destined to come will come no matter what. Let’s just hope that, we can stay friends forever like those in movie “Grow Up”.

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My conversation partner

conversation parterAs a normal person, I also have something that I want to talk, to share with other people. Those may be just simple like opinions about the latest news, problems at work, or relationship. They might be nonsense but I don’t want to be made fun of. Everyone has their own problem and we should respect other people’s stories. If anybody does that to me once, I will stop sharing my private life with them. That’s reason why I can not express my thoughts completely to my friends most of the time.

Luckily, things changed. About half year ago, one of my long lost contacts somehow found out my mobile phone number. From that, we exchanged our Skype username and we keep talking, sharing everything we have in mind with each other until now. I feel that finally, I found someone I can trust to share, to express, to tell everything that are bugging me for a long time.

So, what make her so special?

First, it’s probably she shares a similar mind with me. We are both quiet on the outside, but we are flooded with thoughts inside our heads. And we want to share them. We have some troubles with other people because we live with a facade for so long that other people think that are our true selves. When we say or do something truly from our heart, they think that we are joking and not taking it seriously. Ironically. So, since we found out that we share same problems, we are more open to each other. That also help building up the trust among ourselves.

Second, she understands, instead of mocking, she sympathize. When I tell her about something I hate, she will ask me why, and if even I can not give a reason, she help me to point out some possible causes. When I have a fight, she will not side me or other, she stands at the middle, listen and give comments. I agree that as a man, I like to win and have comrades by my side. But I can not improve if no one tell me things that I’m not able to recognise by myself. With her, together, we dig to the root of problem, and look for a better solution.

Third, she has characteristics that I want to see in people. She’s intelligent, confident, independent, and also, sweet. Intelligence plays the key role here. I don’t want and don’t think any of you want to talk to people who know nothing. Yes, she knows her stuff, she has desire to learn new things, she’s pursuing the path of knowledge which I will fully agree and support if I can.

Does she have something that I dislike? Yes, she does. She’s a human being after all. Not many, but one I hate the most is that she’s bossy. I don’t like to be pushed around by people. Luckily, I can reject doing things that I don’t like by explaining to her. That makes it less ugly in my eyes.

There is no standard for a good conversation partner, it depends on each person’s preference. And in my opinion, she’s the one that I need.

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Would you use money to get a job?

Briefcase-with-CashWhat is your answer?

Everyone may have their own opinion about this issue. But my answer is always No. And I have my own reasons for not doing so.

First, using money to help you apply for a job easier is considered as an act of bribery. In most countries, bribery is illegal and anyone who does it my receive a heavy fine or even legal accusation from law enforcement authorities. Sadly, it had become a normal custom in my country. Almost all of them get away unnoticed. What will this society become if everyone violate the law? I don’t have a strong sense of justice but it is still enough to know what is right or wrong. I strongly against any regulation violation and I hate bribery the most. That’s the reason why they won’t receive a single penny from me for a job offer.

Second, this huge amount of money could be a heavy financial burden for your parents if you are not from a wealthy family. You haven’t had a job yet, that means to get that money, you have to ask your parents. In most cases, they have to borrow from their relatives in order to fulfill your demand. Don’t you pity them? They devote their whole life to you. They have gone through many hardship to raise you. Now you plan to make them suffer more from the loan, don’t you? You may argue that parents won’t complain about that issue. For sure, they won’t. Have you ever known any pair of parents consistently tell their children how hard it is to turn them into fine adults as they are? As a human being, you should not be so cold-blooded.

Third, this custom can kill your active spirit. Your job was bought by money and it’s not something that can be sold easily when you get bored of. You paid a lot of money for something you can’t return for refund. That means you should not risk to lose your job. You would become afraid of changes. Your ideas may never be spoken out because it’s against your conservative boss. You’d like to change to another company because you want to challenge yourself but you don’t want to lose your investment in the old company. You are lucky if it turns out to be good but you would go to hell if this offer is not what you expected. In that case, you have to live with it. Suffering from job everyday is more horrible than any method of torture. I hope all of you out there won’t be in that circumstance.

I said “easily” because in my country, when you reach a certain rank, you can start selling the vacancies. That how this system works. Everyone desperately try to earn back the money they spent. That usually involves some illegal business.

I think there are more reason for not bribing to get job. And I don’t encourage anyone to do so. Why don’t you use that amount of money to start something by your own? I think you will find more happiness that way.

That concludes my opinion. I wish that this bad custom would be eliminated from my country in near future.

Goodbye and see you next time!

I will never invite any friends to visit my home

a_lonely_life_by_al1nk2th3futur3-d6jubmuNot everyone can willingly invite their friends to visit his house. Neither do I. They have their own reasons for not to do so and I have mine, too.

Deep down inside, I feel it pretty happy when someone visits me. There is a chance that was just a diplomatic action, or it was out of pity; but I don’t care about it much. In anyway, their visit means that my existence is acknowledged. That thought always make me feel better.

But the reality is harsh. Due to some circumstance, I do not allow myself to invite them or them to have any idea of paying me visit. The reasons lie in my family’s attitude during and after their visit.

During any occasion, they become bossy while my friends are around. They think that my treat is insufficient; they always try to influence my decisions or to interfere with what I’m going to do. I have my own way of doing things; I’m a strong self-awareness person. Thus, I don’t like any other persons get in my way. No matter how they are closed to me.

After the visit, they started complaining and questioning me why I hadn’t done this, that; and advising me to do this and that. I don’t need their advice, so, who cares about it? No one is perfect and nothing he does can be perfect. Everything will be fine as long as it meets the goals. And the goal for any visit is to have fun together, or to show concern. Nobody joins a party to find out your mistake in preparation anyway.

More, if they find out some imperfection, they will turn them into a topic for joke at anytime in the future. What are they trying to do? Do they understand that they are insulting me when they’re making those kinds of joke? I don’t think they do. As a man with his own pride, I can’t accept or forgive that embarrassment.

Last but not least, my father is alcoholic. When he’s drunk, he can’t control himself from rude conversation and violence. He would start taunting, spitting, throwing objects. I don’t think anyone as a son could stand that scene. Neither do I.

Because of those reasons, I will never ever invite anyone to visit my family again.

Human has declined – Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita

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Have you ever watch that anime series? If your answer is “No”, my advice is you should watch it and try to stick with it until the end. I guarantee you that it is a good series despite of getting low scores which it does not deserve on many criticism sites. The story and the plot is a bit odd but not indigestible. It has its own charm and you will be attracted to it right away.

The plot is the stories about a female character; she acts as an UN mediator and does the research on fairies – a new human race that are responsible for many strange incidents. Besides, this series also provide a humorous view from future human race about our current civilization.

Jinrui_Wa_suitai_Shimashita_03

What I like best about this anime is the main character. She is a good example for “Don’t judge the book by its cover”. She has a naïve, attractive face, her figure is nice, and she has wonderful breast under her old-fashion clothes. Despite her look, she is very clever. She usually considers what the best response is for each situation she is in, though thing did not always go as she planned. She knows a lot, she studies hard to achieve her goal. She also can control other people well but mainly for covering her mistake. But she has a warm heart. She sympathizes with the other’s unspoken pains and tries to help them. Sometimes, it results her punishment. Finally, she doesn’t know how to tell a lie.

jinrui_wa_suitai_shimashita-06-fairies-slime-playing-fun-cute

Fairies – new human race mentioned in this series, they are as tall as an apple, they love sweet, they like to have fun, they possess an incredible high technology but they are not keen to have the dominant position on Earth. They can built and empire in two days, then they can destroy it within minutes.

jinrui_wa_suitai_shimashita-12-y-friendship-happy-smile

Other characters are Y – her friend since she was still at school, her grandfather also her supervisor, and her assistant – a strange boy that adopts her opinion to build up his personality.

Y is her first friend after several years since the day she had entered school, she had used to be lone wolf before she made friend with our girl. She is intelligent and attractive. She has an unconditioned love to the novels that are about boys are more than friends.

jinrui_wa_suitai_shimashita-03-assistant-smile-friendly-helpful

Assistant is her second friend. In order to meet him and take him back to her office, she was involved in a time loop incident, from which he learned and became a person who meets her expectation.

jinrui_wa_suitai_shimashita-08-grandfather-uncc-subconscious-desires

Her grandfather is also her boss. He’s smart and has many useful relations to powerful people. He has a collection of guns and spends a lot of time taking care of that. In my opinion, that man is quite cold to his granddaughter. He knows much about fairies because that is the subject that he’s studying, but all he did is giving her some vague warning that was unable to understand until some incident happened.

One last thing I want to say about this anime that I like the opening and ending songs. The opening gives you an impression of excitement with it fast rhythm, while the ending is gentle, soft and engraved on your mind a sad undistinguished feeling.

Thank you for your patience!

If you wish to download this series, you can visit this torrent site: http://www.nyaa.se

Family? What does that mean to me?

I want to shoot myself because of my family

For most of us, family means everything, they are people whom you love and care about. Family is the place where you can find the shelter, love and support. Family contains people who you can not live without them.

But, still there are many unlucky people who had to, have to, and will have to endure mental or physical (or both) pains caused by their own family. I am one of those unfortunate people who God forgot to bless.

I have drunken father who always yells and batters family members after drinking. He usually destroys our properties as well. This happened almost every two or three days. It was so frequent that I got used to it. Now, maybe he becomes old, or just because I rarely visit home, the frequency decreases. Beside that man, my family was also ruined by the mother who always has grudge against me. I received punishments from her so many times that I can not count or remember clearly. Finally, that is the sister that I can not get along with.

Family means to be sharing and understanding each other but it only means obedient in my family. The conversations were always one way. They said, I listen and do what they want. No comments, objections or reasons were accepted even if those were right and reasonable.

Everyone has the right to choose their own path that they want to follow but I didn’t. When I was a child, they didn’t let me to learn what I liked. They forced me to study subjects that they thought were the best for me. Then, after finishing secondary school, I had to apply for the school that I didn’t want to at all for the same reason. Naturally, I failed because I was not good enough but they blame me for months. After graduating from high school, I made up my mind that I would walk my own way from that moment. Once again, they planned to decide my future and I rejected it. They immediately showed their true faces. At first, they tried to build up a miserable future. After failing to do it themselves, they asked their relatives, their acquaintances to convey that ideas to me. Finally, they threatened me. I somehow managed to overcome the obstacles thanks to my determination but the relationship between me and my parents won’t be able to become normal again.

Being born in this family is the extremity misfortune. Because of that, I have allergy to any ideal family stories. I feel extremely uncomfortable whenever someone mentions about my family.

I wish they simply disappeared from my life.

Some thought for 2013

Profoto-Happy-New-Year

Well, it’s been a long time since my last post that was 4 months ago. A lot of things happened. Some of them were very important to my life. Fortunately, despite of being good or bad, I managed to overcome them. Finally, I have my free time to write down some thoughts for the past year and for the coming year.

Though it’s a little bit late now. I still want to say that: “Happy new year, everyone!”. New year comes with new chances, I wish you all have happiness and joy in this year.

At the beginning of 2012, I set some goal that I needed to do. It’s time to have a look at what I achieve and what I still need to afford to reach it.

First, I graduated with a good grade. I can say that it met my requirement but I do not feel satisfied with it. I could do better but I was to stubborn to admit that I made mistake. Instead of fixing it, I tried to explain and protect my ideas. I failed to do it because even I myself knew that was wrong and mistakes must be fixed. That was not an unpredictable outcome after all. At the moment, I’m planning to fix it to make it better in order to have good reference in the future.

Second, I can say that I’m better at English than the past. Two aspects that improved the most are the confidence and fluency. That thanked to countless hours of speaking English with my friends. I still need to enrich the vocabulary. It’s fine with listening and reading but I face some difficulties while writing and speaking. I like learning language I won’t give up until I master it.

Third is about what I failed to achieve. To he honest, I don’t want to talk about it so I won’t write it down here. But I won’t forget. I’ll keep in mind and do my best so that I won’t have to face that problem again.

To summarize, I had a good time but I need to do more in order to get what I deserve to have.

Thank you for spending time reading it. Goodbye.

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,400 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

My opinions about “richness”.

According to Cambridge Advanced Learner Dictionary, “rich” besides has the meaning of “having a lot of money”, it also has the meaning of “having a lot of valuable or useful things”. However, there are still a lot of people think that “rich” means “money”. They also attack the others’ opinion about “rich” verbally and non-verbally. Personally, I consider those people as pathetic pursuer of money, no more no less. I respect the others personal opinions but I can accept the idea of criticizing to protect their own ideas.

Having a lot of any useful things means you are rich, but you may wonder what useful things mean. I cannot answer that question specifically because there are too many things that are useful in our life. For example, knowledge, emotions, time, relationship… It depends on the situation that you are in to decide what you need, so if they are what you need, they are useful.

To some people, their most valuable property is their relationship. They are happy in making friends and hanging around to tighten it up. The others may treasure their time because they want to spend their life with their family, relatives or friends. Each person has his own idea about that.

For me, the most useful thing I need is knowledge. If I know and understand about the world thoroughly, I will be able to do anything I ever wanted to do. Knowledge can provide me money, time, relationship, fame and so on. Any step further, which I make, must base on that basic platform. In addition, I never want to be a loser in any aspects that I join with my own will, so I need to improve a lot to reach the goal that I set. I believe one day, my dreams will come true if I try hard enough.