Kim Luong Vuong's blog

Where there is a will, there is a way.

Monthly Archives: February 2015

I’m feeling down

Feeling down aloneAfter a long vacation, when the day of flying away from home is near, somehow, I feel that I don’t want to go away from them.

I usually think that I can go anywhere at anytime for any duration without problem. But it seems that it’s not always true especially when I spend a lot of time together with those closed to me.

They were just some conversation at the coffee shops, some small parties we threw together, a short trip to nearby beach. They are just normal stuffs but they really help to deepen our bond. At least, that what I feel.

I want those happy days last forever, I don’t want to leave them. But, what can I do? I need money to live, they need money to live as well. Even, if I can stay here, they won’t. They have their own job, their own life. They have to work. We can’t be with each other all the time.

Sometime, I wish that we could never grow up, that we could stay as innocent children forever. But, time flows fast, it doesn’t wait for anyone, and now, here we are, worry about life and regret about the past.

For now, we can spend a lot of time together because we don’t have to take care of anyone else. I don’t dare to imagine about the future where we are all settle down and have a family. Will we are able to things that we are doing now? Few years ago, when I enter university, I asked my aunt if she meets her friends often. The answer is obvious “No”. She said her and them were all absorbed to the flow of life. They have little spare time for each other. At that time, I didn’t understand it much. As I become older, I’m scared that it might actually happen to me sooner or later.

Well, thing’s destined to come will come no matter what. Let’s just hope that, we can stay friends forever like those in movie “Grow Up”.

My conversation partner

conversation parterAs a normal person, I also have something that I want to talk, to share with other people. Those may be just simple like opinions about the latest news, problems at work, or relationship. They might be nonsense but I don’t want to be made fun of. Everyone has their own problem and we should respect other people’s stories. If anybody does that to me once, I will stop sharing my private life with them. That’s reason why I can not express my thoughts completely to my friends most of the time.

Luckily, things changed. About half year ago, one of my long lost contacts somehow found out my mobile phone number. From that, we exchanged our Skype username and we keep talking, sharing everything we have in mind with each other until now. I feel that finally, I found someone I can trust to share, to express, to tell everything that are bugging me for a long time.

So, what make her so special?

First, it’s probably she shares a similar mind with me. We are both quiet on the outside, but we are flooded with thoughts inside our heads. And we want to share them. We have some troubles with other people because we live with a facade for so long that other people think that are our true selves. When we say or do something truly from our heart, they think that we are joking and not taking it seriously. Ironically. So, since we found out that we share same problems, we are more open to each other. That also help building up the trust among ourselves.

Second, she understands, instead of mocking, she sympathize. When I tell her about something I hate, she will ask me why, and if even I can not give a reason, she help me to point out some possible causes. When I have a fight, she will not side me or other, she stands at the middle, listen and give comments. I agree that as a man, I like to win and have comrades by my side. But I can not improve if no one tell me things that I’m not able to recognise by myself. With her, together, we dig to the root of problem, and look for a better solution.

Third, she has characteristics that I want to see in people. She’s intelligent, confident, independent, and also, sweet. Intelligence plays the key role here. I don’t want and don’t think any of you want to talk to people who know nothing. Yes, she knows her stuff, she has desire to learn new things, she’s pursuing the path of knowledge which I will fully agree and support if I can.

Does she have something that I dislike? Yes, she does. She’s a human being after all. Not many, but one I hate the most is that she’s bossy. I don’t like to be pushed around by people. Luckily, I can reject doing things that I don’t like by explaining to her. That makes it less ugly in my eyes.

There is no standard for a good conversation partner, it depends on each person’s preference. And in my opinion, she’s the one that I need.